I honestly wasn't planning on writing this post. I’m not a plumber. I don't run a home improvement blog.

But for the past week, every single time I take a shower, I end up standing in three inches of dirty, soapy, gray water.

It is gross. It’s slippery. And it ruins my whole morning.

So, like everyone else, I went to Google. I read the top five articles. I watched the videos. And I am writing this because most of the advice out there is total garbage.

How to unclog shower drain？

If you are stressed out about your drain right now, let me save you two hours and $30 at the store.

Here is what doesn't work (even though the "experts" say it does):

1. The Baking Soda and Vinegar Trick❌

Seriously, stop doing this. This is for elementary school science fairs, not for unclogging a drain full of three years of long hair and conditioner. I tried it. It made a fizzing sound. It smelled like salad dressing. The water stayed exactly where it was.

(If you don't believe me, even the chemistry nerds on r/CleaningTips agree that this mixture basically just turns into useless saltwater.)

2. The Wire Coat Hanger❌

I tried this too. I just ended up scratching the metal ring around my drain (my wife was not happy). Plus, because the wire is smooth, I think I just pushed the gunk further down the pipe.